Monday, May 16, 2011

Chalk Drawings and Hopscotch

Chalk Drawings and Hopscotch

Very Basic Numbers (best I could do for a theme on the way here this morning- but I really need the energy to work on the motion cases.)

I actually reached a point where I had no new thoughts- well, maybe a very small one that the halo physics seems a lot like the reason for variations on on something like the proton diameter. But further thinking about it this morning I had the passing thought that virtual particles are a very whacked out idea in general to try to explain things as if a bare charge- a mysticism, really for then some go on to actually suggest these empty concepts add to the structure and mass of things. I am not sure that is a very secure thought.

One reason was my roommate brought a friend over, not one of my favorite people but he seemed friendly enough. The bought some 40's and I just watched TV in the kitchen sleepy up to 3am. Mixing prescription drugs and this, low class, alcohol is not good- but I have seen this happen to my friend going all weird making noises, complaining of the Antichrist, Trixie comes out confusing him, the industrial rock is booming with a deep evil voice. The roommate starts cussing or saying he loves the world alternately. I turn on the radio to drown out the general noise and there is a show on the coming economic collapse and how to survive it- send for a list of countries, especially in South America, where the cost of living is better than in the United States.

The neighbor girl is reading for hours on end sitting in the same place. Unless like me she is staring at a blank paper. She must have wondered why I had not gone to bed- a game she plays I think trying to out wait me.

Well, the guest comes in and asks me what is wrong with my roommate and I just grunt and ask him what he wants- there is no point in talking to drunks really, ones that are praising being on speed in the old days and how to pick up bitches. Finally my roommate says to him that he always sleeps naked after he had asked through the blaring music and lights why he hasn't gone to sleep. Do you want me to abuse you he asks and the guest says no and looks for his keys and takes his bike and leaves.

Now the powerful sent of incense has dissipated and the roommate goes into the bathroom and throws up the goes to bed. I think that they will remember any of this in the morning. People begin remind me of monkeys after all making there forever frozen prepubescent grunts and curses. I wondered why I feel for things being more stable, especially so close to his shot time. If the economy goes down, and the meds cost too much, what is going to happen to these people?

Oh, I had to go get cigarettes and met the artist owner of the Joynt bar who gave me the key and told me how to turn on the lights so I could make a crude photography of his 30 or so dioramas. I did best I could and went to the coffee shop and burned a CD-RW as a record for him. He is not selling them but said I could post them somewhere.

Guess, I got a little beyond the point where in the explanation of things it felt that not even I understood what I was writing- that a way I think as a stage of realization that we need the next level of theory for interesting ideas.

* * *

So, in my blog

I begin to post the 29 or so dioramas. Changing light, glass glare, mirror backgrounds, my image not in the picture- well, it was just a record of sorts and done rapidly and not professionally. As with all art I have never seen a photo that does the original justice- Dali's paintings were dot by dot as if the color dots were on great hills and valley's of a canvass landscape deeper than the eye sees.

This one is called Dylan's Last Dream:

But the lighting was not good enough to get the titles and explanations:

* * *

Somedays, especially after smooth deep dreaming, an idea worth posting occurs to me or comes together on the walk to the coffee shop. Like working on a series of poems that seem to go on and on one gets used to it so it is always a shock after some ending and blank page. On the other hand the science mags on line or other bloggers have inspired something to say. This link today strikes me as very important and is a thermodynamic problem we have long looked to solve as a limitation by computers- of course what they call capacitance is closer to what I, in resurrecting the old word, condenser. Not the article is startled enough at this blank page to suggest that existing physics may not explain this.

After yesterdays Decline Effect in relation to placebos and Prozac I wonder if as the roommate is cured (obviously with all hallucinations like science experimental effects itself some innocuous drugs just reach a saturation and become ineffective as you need more and more past normal toxicity.) So, will the illness not also be a decline effect or will it match the drug no matter how cut down? So, in a baby universe the question of energy is one that even a small amount is relatively enough to make what we seen in the parent one (in that theory)? Well, here again in the halo physics we have this complex number idea at the heart of what we mean by amplification. Then again for most such declines experience there is no returning and things must get worse- even if we imagine one has to reach the blank page of some rock bottom of addictions. Some things are medically reversible after all- and
at the blank page of the old physics at rock bottom are we surprised as we step into wider frontiers, the diagonal where we imagine a multiverse of infinite parallels and no perpendiculars? From this land beyond the quasic diagonals it really does not seem to matter if we explain or find some effect or not- save for the technology.

Perhaps our magic bullet chemicals or reduction to a mechanical gene physicality is not a measure of our intellect as much as a physical analog to our halo of more convoluted theories which we still think of as the substance of abstract thought.

Ulla said...

We can eat each others sins, yes, and those sins are simply energy we can give to mother Earth. Or transform it into a new consciousness. Also the forgiveness works marvelously well, but is not always possible, may need long time.

Memories are not always good energy.

* * *


  1. Why do you do like this?

    I meant it is a blessing to forget also, but it is not always possible. Memories can eat much energy.

  2. Ulla,

    Because it is clear that it is very easy to lay down a memory (as in a computer) but it takes a lot of energy to retrieve them. The link I gave seems to have solved this problem after all these years (a limit here for our supercomputer silicon valley once).

    Mentally, I understand that we do not erase some memories but can make better ones over them. The ability to erase what is in the cloud on the computer, an issue of privacy also, is in the news lately too. Can an artist change is own work? Can he destroy it or in a sense is it the collective intellectual property of everyone, morally?

    Forgiveness is a slippery word, does that mean forgetting? And what value is forgiveness over time as an issue if forgiveness means condoning- or someone asks for forgiveness before the act as if theirs was their private property of the Grace of God?

    Perhaps, in these halo worlds and shadow worlds some things are in a limbo between what can be forgotten- as our life and personalities so arise from whatever place. Let us know that the damage done early on, even chemically, does not have to be written in stone, but part what is free will in us is the deal from a new deck.

    Good question Ulla, and nice blog posting today. In all these frontier matters there is a part of me still a little lost- but we will get there :-)

    The PeSla

  3. Actually we change our memories every time we remember something. But some memories lies so deep in who we are, that they have formed us, literally. We can actually recreate memories, but then they must be activated first. We recreate them through our older me with its better understanding (note the many sheeted spacetime here).

    This is very much the 'talk cure'. Trying to find the roots of that thing which take so much energy.

    Forgiveness is a word used much, true. I resist the religious forgiveness (often in beforehand as you say) because it is a lie. True forgiveness is in a way to forget, or rather that the memory doesn't bother you any more. You can think at those bad happenings without arousal, accepting what happenend, but not AS IF they happenend to someone else, or that you are above them. That is only a way to get along with them. They can surprise you once again.

    In a way true forgiveness is to accept people as they are, with their own failures. Not trying to make them 'better'. But this is sometimes very hard.

    The memories are formed automatically, more or less. Even for an Alzheimer. She has the trouble she cannot retrieve them.