Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Today I do not seem to have any especially deep math or physics thoughts but I do have a certain feeling or poetic mood concerning experience, personal perhaps, and time. I am not sure how deep this is as a theory. (but what is the original meaning of that term anyway?) I hope I can get this mood across.
It is a if in a way we are traveling in time, a subjective time, but that is not as simple as we imagine. As if we could do jumps in time to the past and the future in a way doing some things, experiencing some things such as making contact again with friends from years ago or reading about them as if a real time traveling- but of course virtually so and thus not in the flesh so to speak- or maybe in the flesh for all practical purposes.
There is a certain concepts of experiencing time, aware in the depths and movement of it, across time really for we have gone through at least one path of the past existentially, and we can touch base with that much no matter how the fabric of time splits or changes, becomes compact or real, decoheres, or life expands beyond our perceptions or reach- or we age in the flesh but not our memories or dreams of some past loved one- or in our dreams they do age as we do- and things ripen with respect to something after all the drama and radiation but not to a dead and cold weight- for we can seem to extend time beyond its supposed ending and we can imagine time fragmenting in our fall through it forever that it so does not end.
If indeed, unseen by us somehow we do travel through the universe to some extent socially in the network of parallel worlds- then of what I speak here is a level just above that. An idea of time beyond its arrow of linear motion and beyond its timeless sense of transcendental daydreams. I experience a much wider traveling in time to which if that were achieved say in physics, that would be a very trivial pursuit compared to the explorations we are capable of, we star rovers, beyond even our most extraordinary dreams. There more choices to be made and yes more coherence and use of that in our organic beings of organic integration and differentiation which we find unified in the sense we at least sense this as we live vitally and so experience the world as well as observe from whatever distance the world. I do not know if such an idea of time, beyond the low level of our sentience and the lowest level of our physical self as the universe of discourse if such an idea- almost reachable as the grapes and the fox of Aesop, tantalizing, that we try to understand and reach such a totality that no matter what the design is the given and experienced world is intelligible- thus it truly evolves and not just in theory of a random casting of dust and dust's encounters.
In understanding and surviving the broken symmetries of such time I yet find I am more myself and more in control of the game and aware of the outcome of the game, the game of theoretical physics in particular of which like chess it is the endgame that is the scientific part of playing. I perhaps must disagree with those who think the end of such enquiry is the psyche or is the matter-energy and the geometry and its leadership of design is just a stepping stone or tool. Let us consider as a thing among equal possibilities, intellectually, that the geometry itself is the goal of the understanding and not the matter or mind. But I mean this as a dynamic and living, not empty geometry seen as being's ground- atoms and strings are concrete but like our universe also evolves. This is not to say that world just beyond it is without physical substance nor without experience nor that these are pale analogs to our accessing beyond our limited inheritance and not something we will find as a higher wisdom in that part of a kingdom a little less than God and more than the teeming sea of scud organizing on the ocean universe. I see also my place in the procession of learning and time and perhaps can keep this in mind and not fall back into darkness too lazy in the contemplations to with permanent revolution and passion cherish its freedoms, Even if toward the endtime the awakening of wisdom is too late and time in a sense too short albeit it also measureless- into that new portal here and now no such morning or fear of such visions of darkness while we can still see will discourage our own and the worlds valuing itself to become a place where enquiry is possible.
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Well, I guess my encounters with the state doesn't slow down my thinking like it used to. I just got back from the DMV and cannot get a state ID without (my stolen from storage) birth certificate-but told otherwise yesterday with the papers I had including the military discharge. So the govt check is not cashable and the banks will not accept it nor is it legal as a govt check for say walmart to do so. 911 made my old photo ID invalid and the ss number on it illegal. It had no date of birth or expiration date.
Maybe if I had stayed in the service and not tried to go to school- I tell you this fingernails would have been pulled for not anticipating 911 and heads would roll for this surveillance state that spies on its own people!
I still believe what we fought for was that a new generation could go to school and make a better safer world.